Fix
by FanGirlMoment
Summary: Adam is ready to end his life as a transgender. All he needs is one surgery- if his mom is willing to finally let Gracie go.
1. Chapter One: Push

Author's note: This is a new Adam series! Please check out my other i will update it regularly. I love reviews so don't hold back. It's a long chapter, but i hoped to fit in some anticipation. Let me know!

Rated M for language and other mature content.

Disclaimer: I DONT OWN DEGRASSI! but i do love it... -fangirl squee-

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"I want the surgery," Adam said abruptly, cutting his mom off while she was talking during his ride to school. Drew had football practice early, so as usual, his mom was cranky that morning.

"What surgery?"

"You know… _that _surgery."

"Adam, please. You are being ridiculous."

"I'M being ridiculous? You said yourself they do terrible things to transgender kids in high school." His voice lowered to a mumble. "I don't want to be transgender anymore."

"Please. Now is not the time for this." Mrs. Torres began to lose her patience.

"But when will it be? The next time I'm beaten up by Owen or Fitz? The next time I'm threatened by Bianca? Drew- you were there!" Drew had his headphones in. He looked at me apologetically; he was hearing everything, but he chose to sit this battle out. Adam suppressed a sigh. Although that ticked him off, he couldn't blame him. He swallowed and continued his argument. "The next time that happens you're gonna make us move again! I'll have to start over again with new friends and eventually new enemies. You KNOW that-"

"ENOUGH Adam! You are not getting that surgery. It's… disgusting."

"No it's not and you know it. You just don't want me to get it because after it there's no way I'll be your little girl anymore."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is." Adam exhaled angrily and shook his head. "Just forget it." They came to a stop sign. Adam quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car.

"Adam where are you going?"

"To school."

"What the hell? Get back in the car right now missy." Adam whirled around to look at her.

"_What?_"

"I meant, get back in the car right now, _mister_."

"No you didn't." He shook his head in disgust, and ran off.

_How could she_, he thought, feeling like he was going to cry. He thought for the past couple weeks his mom would let it go. But she didn't.

Drew slouched back in his seat, feeling awkward. How long would it be before his mom went on a diatribe about respect? He was thankful his ear buds were in… Maybe his mom would get the message. Or not.

"I just don't get it." She stated, waiting for sympathy. "I give that gir-umm boy everything and yet he still disrespects me. He probably doesn't know what goes on during that surgery. I-it's…" She shuddered. "Unnatural." Drew looked at his mom in disbelief. He wasn't letting this slide by.

"You think he doesn't think that the way he is now is unnatural?" Adam had never admitted anything to Drew, but Drew heard him some nights crying in his room. Even when Adam wasn't forced to be Gracie, Drew had a feeling Adam was as close as ever to doing something again. And he doubted it would be small.

"Oh please, Andrew. Adam isn't unnatural. He's just… confused."

"Confused?"

"Confused. This is a phase. Soon he's going to realize he's a tomboy or a lesbian or something." She muttered something under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"It was something. Go ahead mom. Say it."

"I just thought that…"

"What?"

"If he turned out to be a tomboy or a lesbian or something, it would be easier for him." Drew narrowed his eyes.

"How?"

"Well maybe then he could… you know…"

"No. I don't know."

"It might be easier for him to get a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend if he was a lesbian." Drew was in shock.

"You think no one will want to be with him if he's transgender?"

"Well why else would he want the surgery?"

"Because he thinks that'll make him NORMAL. And even according to you he isn't. Maybe if you stopped alienating him and made him feel accepted and welcome he wouldn't ask for the surgery."

"That's not fair."

"You just said no one will like him!"

"Well I just think if he gets the surgery and finds out it's a phase he'll regret it."

"You're still holding out for him to change. Well he's not going to."

"Give it a rest, Andrew."

"No. You give it a rest! How would you like it if you had a dick?"

"Language, Andrew."

"You know you would hate it. You just can't stand to think that you're wrong!"

"Don't talk to me like that."

"He sees it as a problem. You have the opportunity to fix it. You owe him that."

"I don't owe him anything."

"Yes you do! All the times you made him move, start over, all of it. Every time it cuts him. And one day he just won't be here anymore."

"Stop it right now, Andrew." But Drew couldn't stop. He was PISSED.

"We've spent our lives walking on eggshells, mom. How much is too much? He gets pushed everyday and I can't help but wonder how long it will be before he finally falls! You HAVE to do whatever you can to keep him here!" They pulled into the parking lot of the school when Mrs. Torres had finally had enough.

"Get out of the car." She said in a hushed tone, as if she was about to lose it. Maybe she already had. Drew unbuckled and got out of the car. He poked his head in the door.

"Just remember this. One day he's gonna be pushed. And you'll be the one who does it." He slammed the car before his mother could scream a reply at him. _There_, he thought. _Maybe_ that_ would put her in her place_. He was about to head to the football field for practice when he saw someone sitting behind a bush. Adam.

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Authors note: OOOH SUSPENSE! review. let me know. I'd love it. Thank you

xoxo

Logan


	2. Chapter 2: No matter What

Author's note: Thanks to those who subscribed to this story :) as a gift to them im posting this second chapter. I hope to add every day if not more. Thanks again and please please PLEASE review. I love feedback, and it would help make this story better. Im hoping that the subscribers is a good sign though :)

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Ch. 2: No matter What

Drew stealthily walked over to Adam, trying to see what he was doing. Adam was curled up in a fetal position, head buried into his knees, crying. Drew sighed. Forget football practice.

"A-Adam?" Adam quickly looked up, and when he saw Drew he jumped up and wiped his eyes.

"Hey, Drew." He faked a smile.

"Adam, I'm not stupid. I saw you crying." Adam nodded and looked down.

"I just hate it. And then I remember it's something I can't control and I hate it even more!" Drew swallowed and put his arm on Adam's shoulder. Adam's eyes started to tear up, stinging his eyes. "And I know I say I want to be accepted, and I put on a happy face and act like I don't care but I do! And people look at me either with disgust or pity. How hard is it to be NORMAL?" He started to sob. "I can't control it, but I can FIX it. Why won't mom let me?" Drew felt horrible. He knew why mom was skeptical, but he didn't dare tell him that. At least not now. Drew pulled him into a hug, and Adam gripped him really hard. Drew almost winced from how tight Adam was holding on, but he let it go. He rubbed Adam on the back.

"I'll help you convince mom," Drew said. "No matter what." That was just the thing Adam needed to hear. He let go and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his school uniform and nodded.

"Thanks, Drew," he said. "I'll be okay for now. You should go to practice." Drew looked skeptical.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." He sighed, but then gave in and patted Adam on the back. "If you need anything, you can talk to me. I'll listen." He walked over to the football field.

"You're late," the coach scolded. Drew caught a few glares from Riley, Owen, and just about everyone else. Zane was the only person who didn't look pissed. Zane and KC. Drew cast an apologetic look around.

"Sorry coach. It won't happen again."

"I'm not the one you should apologize to," the Coach replied, gesturing towards his teammates.

"I'm sorry," Drew repeated, this time to everyone. "It won't happen again."

"It better not," the coach yelled. "I'll see you after practice. Now everyone get to your drills!" Drew quickly ran and joined them through the intense drills and training. Afterwards he went to see coach and see what he wanted.

"Now Drew. I know you're interested in this team, but you don't always show it. I'm tired of you not putting in the best effort or coming late. You're an asset to this team. You're quite an impressive player. But that doesn't make up for poor sportsmanship. Your team shouldn't have to pay for your mistakes, got it?"

"Got it, coach."

"Good. Now tell me why you were late."

"I-I can't, coach."

"Why not?"

"It's personal."

"Like…?"

"A problem with my brother." A hint of sympathy passed through the coach's eyes. He had heard about the younger Torres. Adam. Being the PE teacher, he would've had him, except he had learned that Adam was transgender and was therefore going to be put into remedial gym, for obvious reasons. He had never met Adam, but from what he heard he figured the family had a hard time. He sighed.

"Fine. I'll let this one slide, but ONLY because I know it's serious. But you need to kick up the effort and come on time from now on. Early, if possible."

"Got it, coach."

"Good. Now get to class. I'll see you in gym."

"Bye." Drew walked into the locker room to get changed. Everyone had left except for Zane.

"Hey, man," Drew said, quickly changing his shirt. "Thanks for not being pissed." Zane nodded.

"It's okay. I saw your brother walk to the bushes near the front steps. I didn't know what was going on, but when I saw you heading over there a little while later I figured it was serious."

"Thanks." Drew stiffened. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Tell them what? I have no idea what happened. It's not my business, and it sure isn't anyone else's." Drew smiled gratefully and they bumped fists. Drew finished changing and walked to class.

Adam sat on the front steps waiting for his friends to come. He thought of what Drew had said and smiled. _We'll do whatever it takes to convince mom_, he thought. _I'm getting that surgery. One way or the other._

_

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more suspense :) lemme know what you think, and share this with your friends! Love anyone who reads it!

xoxo

Logan


	3. Clarification NOT A CHAPTER

Umm hi, it's Logan. I'm the author of this story and I'd just like to reply to a review I was given to clarify. Someone signing the review as anonymoustransman (he didn't review under an account so I can't just message him) wrote:

"_wow, this is a bit ridiculous...getting the "surgery" doesn't make the person suddenly not transgender, plus it's not like there's just one surgery and then bam, suddenly your body is male. It's a whole process, taking testostetine, then top surgery, bottom surgery (which many don't even get), having the uterus removed, et cetera, but no matter what surgeries Adam would still be transgender, lol. He should be proud of it. =) "_

Just to clarify this, I would just like to say that I do understand that it's not one big surgery I actually did a lot of research (can't do much more than that so I'm sorry), so I have at the very least a basic idea of how it works in most cases. Adam, however, doesn't. He knows what it is, but he isn't quite sure of the details. In fact, spoiler alert, he speaks to the counseler and LGBT advisor about it in chapter 3 in the beginning- which erupts into a lot of drama. (I'll try to post that tonight) Plus, once again, Adam is naïve (one of his character flaws) about certain subjects, and this is one of them. We all know he'll still be transgender. He doesn't. It's called dramatic irony, thank you. And finally, as for the being proud part, that is sure to come later and it wouldn't exactly be an angst/drama story if he was happy-go-lucky now would it? XP

Sorry to have to explain everything (I know it takes away) but I wanted to clarify for some people. And I'm not trying to do a diatribe either, sorry. I just kinda wanted to defend myself against those who assume XD jkjkjk

But yea. Thanks for the constructive criticism though. It would've really hurt my feelings if you wrote "THIS IS BULLSHIT YOU MORON" XP

I'll put up Chapter 3 soon. Thanks for the readers and the reviews! (even critical ones)

Love all of you guys!

Xoxo

Logan


	4. Chapter 3: Why?

Author's note: ok ok I know I said that I'd "post it tonight"… December 26… I'm super sorry it took so long but here it is now!  
*Read and Review- I love them, even if they're critical as long as they don't say "THIS IS BULLSHIT YOU MORON" etc…

*I don't own Degrassi or anything related to it… this is just fan fiction…

School would start in roughly an hour. Adam was waiting on the steps when he saw the counselor enter the building.

"Ms. Sauve!" He called. She looked around startled, then she spotted him.

"Adam? What're you doing here early?"

"Drew has practice."

"Oh."

"Actually, though, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"About what?"

"The ummm…" Adam had no idea what it was called, so he just improvised. "The Surgery... you... know... for… fixing… this?" He gestured at himself. What the hell was he saying? He had no idea how to put it. He had talked confidently in the car, at least he thought he did, but when he came down to it, he didn't know much more about it than the average hamster. All he knew was that someone mentioned it during an LGBT meeting.

"Well, Adam, I know what you're saying, but this is more of a topic to discuss with the LGBT advisor."

"Why?"

"I am just your counselor, Adam. I work with day to day troubles-"

"This is a day to day trouble." Ms. Sauve sighed.

"Let me finish."

"Okay, fine."

"I work with day to day troubles, issues with schoolwork, problems back at home that you can't talk to anyone else about, self harm, college admissions, things like that. While I know what you're saying, you have to understand that I'm not trained nor am I given tools, materials, or information to tell you how it works and what it is. There is an LGBT advisor here for a reason, Adam. She's the one to talk to." Adam exhaled.

"But she's not here." Ms. Sauve looked at him sympathetically.

"I can set up an appointment with her during your first period, okay?"

"Okay," Adam replied, looking down. He walked back to the team's football practice while the Counselor walked into the school building.

()()()

An hour later, Adam heard the school bell ring and rushed to his locker, grabbing his things for class. He waited in the handicapped bathroom for a couple minutes before entering his classroom a few seconds before the late bell rang. He hated being the first one in. He hated people staring at him awkwardly. So he waited to be one of the last. He took his seat next to one of his best friends, Clare Edwards. She saw him and smiled, and he absentmindedly returned the gesture before looking down at his desk. _Did I do something wrong?_ She thought to herself, but decided to let it go. Every once in a while Adam had one of those moments, not like a period, but just a moment of sadness where he didn't want to talk to anyone. By the end of the day, he was back to normal. She began working on the equations on the board when she heard the intercom come on.

"Adam Torres to the guidance office, Adam Torres to the guidance office."

Adam struggled not to grimace at the giggles coming from a few of the students.

"I told you the freak needed therapy. What a joke," he heard a girl say behind him. Anger shot through him, but he let it go and quietly exited the classroom after receiving confirmation from his teacher.

He walked down the hallway at a brisk pace. Some students gave him amused looks but he ignored them on his way to guidance. He rapped softly on the door and opened it a crack.

"Hey, I'm Adam Torres?" He stated, peering in.

"Hi, Adam. Come have a seat. Mrs. Lyon will be here in a minute," The receptionist replied. He stepped into the room and awkwardly sat down. After waiting for a few minutes, Mrs. Lyon stepped out of her office and smiled at Adam. He stood up and walked into her room as she gestured him inside.

"Now, Adam, what can I help you with today?"

"Well umm…" Adam took a seat across from her and cleared his throat. "I wanted to know more about the surgery thingy...thing and how to get it...and…" Adam exhaled. This was going to be a long conversation. Mrs. Lyon laughed softly to herself.

"I think you mean the FTM procedure." Adam quickly nodded.

"Yea… that."

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than you think. First of all, this procedure is not fast. It works over a long period of time and makes major changes to your life and your body. These changes affect you mentally, socially, and physically. During this procedure, you will most likely have breast reduction surgery," Adam cringed. "You will also start taking testosterone shots which will…" As Mrs. Lyon continued on and on and on, Adam felt himself slumping back. He wanted this. He knew he did. But the way Mrs. Lyon said it made him feel embarrassed. He hated when adults talked about these things. It just made him feel uncomfortable.

"Adam," She called him back to attention. "Why do you want this procedure?"

Thank you thank you for reading and reviewing (hint hint) !

xoxo,

Logan


	5. Chapter 4: Fit

A/N its been a while I know, and im about to make things more complicated, so look at the info below on that… Let me know :D

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I don't own Degrassi so don't sue my ass I cant afford it 3

"Why do I want this procedure? Are you serious?" Adam snapped. He had gone from slumping in his chair to sitting straight up on the edge in the matter of one second.

"Calm down Adam, I'm not trying to offend you, but this is a difficult procedure, and has long lasting effects on you physically… and mentally. And before you make such a life-changing decision about yourself, you need to ask yourself is it worth it?"

"Is it worth it? Is it worth it." Adam was the kind of person who kept things to himself. He left things bottled inside, but things would start to build up and build up and build up until he felt like he was going to explode. And suddenly, once one thing set him off it would just all come out. "Of course it's worth it! I want this," he gestured toward himself. "gone! I'm sick and tired of people looking at me, and pitying me, and judging me. And worst of all, people act like I CHOSE this. Like I chose to be hated, or that I chose to be a disappointment to my mom and my stepdad and my stepbrother. Or that I chose to always have to hide who I am when people visit. Or to have to bind myself every day. Or to have to work twice as hard to achieve something people are already born with. I'm always one step behind! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" Adam was going to say more, but he bit his tongue and just ran out of the office. He inwardly kicked himself for exploding like that. Mrs. Lyons didn't need that. There he was going again, ruining other people's lives because of who he was. He hated himself. He ran out of the school and sat in the bushes, curled up in a ball, crying. He stayed like that until lunch.

()()()

"Why do you think Adam got called down?" Clare asked Eli in the lunch line. He shrugged and grabbed a slice of pizza.

"I don't know, but you know Adam, they probably wanted to ask him to head the LGBT club once that Zack kid graduates. He's been the most involved in that club since people found out, from what I've heard at least."

"I didn't think you listened to gossip," Clare teased.

"It's hard not to notice when this school's full of it." Clare nodded and grabbed some salad.

"Do you think we should grab something for Adam?"

"Maybe, I don't know if he's coming-" Just then Eli spotted Adam walking into the caf, head down, and his eyes looked kind of red. "On second thought, get him some dessert I'm gonna find out what's up." Clare sighed.

"Fine."

"Thanks Clare." Eli gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and paid for his food. The lunch lady gave him a stern look. "What?" He asked her.

"You know school rules, Mr. Goldsworthy." Eli shrugged.

"Silly me, Ms. Simmons, I was so…_blinded_… by my love for Miss Edwards that I forgot all about the school rules." Clare snorted at him, and the lunch lady suppressed a smile. "You know what they say about puppy love. It's a shame really." Eli smiled one of his most charming smiles and shrugged, and despite herself the lunch lady laughed.

"Okay, just don't let it happen again."

"Me? Never!" Eli walked out of the line and headed toward Adam.

()()()

(A/N this is a bit back in time, in the locker room during gym first period, this is around the time Adam got called down to the office)

"Hey Drew, what the fuck's up with your sister?" Owen asked Drew in the locker room.

"HE is my BROTHER, and since when do you care?"

"I don't care, but the little freak got sent down to the guidance office. Is the tranny getting therapy?"

"Shut up, Owen. You have no idea what you're talking about." Drew shoved him.

"Are you trying to start something with me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. I don't want to do anything with you." Just then the PA system went off.

"Drew Torres to guidance, Drew Torres to guidance." Owen smirked at him.

"Group therapy. Nice touch."

"Do you even know how to shut your mouth? No one wants to hear it, asshole."

"Touchy!" Drew glared at him and stormed out of the locker room. He went to the guidance office. A woman was gestured him into her office. The tag on the door read "Susan Lyons. LGBT advisor."

"Uh, hey" he said, walking in.

"Hello, Mr. Torres. Please. Have a seat." Drew nodded and sat down.

"So uh… why am I here?"

"Your brother came in today. Any idea what it might've been about?"

"The FTM procedure?"

"Precisely. Now he threw quite a fit in here."

"A-a fit?"

"Yes. I'm afraid something I said set him off. Could you talk to him? I think he's going through a rough patch."

"No offense, Mrs. Lyons, but I think I would know if my brother was going through a rough patch. I don't need you to tell me."

"Mr. Torres."

"I talk to him a lot more than you do. So don't act all-knowing." Drew stood up and left the office, heading towards the cafeteria.

_What did I do?_ Mrs. Lyons thought to herself.

()()()

(A/N normal time now! :D )

Adam was walking into the cafeteria when Eli walked up to him.

"Dude are you okay?"

"Yea I'm fine."

"I know you're not I was being polite. What's up?"

"I went to the LGBT advisor."

"About what?"

"The… FTM procedure."

"Woah…" Eli raised his eyebrows. "There's a procedure?"

"Yea. It fixes this."

"There's nothing to fix."

"Yes there is! Eli you don't understand. You were lucky. You were born all matched up but I wasn't! Everything you have I have to work twice as hard to get and it's not fair! I'm always "almost there." I can bind my chest, I can cut my hair, I can wear guys clothes, but when it comes down to it, I can't get away from what I really am."

"And what is that?"

"A freak."

"You are not a freak!" Adam didn't reply. He just left. Clare came up to Eli with her lunch and a few cookies for Adam.

"Where'd he go?"

"I don't know."

"Well aren't you gonna follow him?"

"I don't think I should."

"Why? What happened?"

"He's thinking of getting the FTM procedure."

"Wow. Shouldn't he be eighteen to do that? Or is it just a whoever-can-afford-it thing?"

"How am I the only one not knowing about this?"

"After I found out about Adam I looked it up on google, and found an article on the procedure and how it works. It's really tough, but I guess he has good reason."

"That or his opinion's clouded."

"What do you mean?"

"He feels like he's a step behind. This isn't going to fix that."

()()()

Adam walked down to the front office.

"May I use the phone?" He asked the receptionist.

"For what?"

"I need to call home."

"Why?"

"It's personal. Please?" The lady sighed.

"Fine. The phone's over there, but be fast." Adam walked over and called his mom's cell.

"Hello?" She answered on the third ring.

"Mom?" Adam asked.

"Adam. What is it?"

"Will you please pick me up?"

"Honey school doesn't get out for another couple hours-"

"Mom please. Please just let me go home." Adam's eyes began to burn and his throat felt weird, like he was about to cry.

"Adam-"

"Mom. Please." He could hear her sigh on the other line.

"Fine. I'll be there in 10." she stated quickly and hung up.

()()()

Mrs. Torres signed Adam out for a "Doctor's appointment" and then ushered him into the car.

"Why did you have to leave the school so suddenly?"

"I couldn't handle it.

''Adam I thought about what you said earlier."

"You did?"

"Yes. I don't know if I like it, and I don't know if it's the best option for you, but if that will make you happy I'll have to live with it."

"For real?"

"One condition."

"What?"

"You'll think about it."

"Are you serious?"

"Entirely. I know you've been through a lot and this seems like the way out but it's not. This opens a whole new chapter with its own problems and challenges. I really want you to think before you go through with it. Your birthday is coming up in a month. If in a month you still really want to go through with this, your father and I will do what we can to make it happen."

"A month? That's way too far away!"

"No it's not! This will change your life! Once you do this, there's no going back." Adam sighed, knowing she had a point. He didn't want to wait, but he didn't want it to be a spontaneous mistake either.

"Fine. I'll think about it. Really think about it. I'll do research and everything."

"That's all I ask," Mrs. Torres said, squeezing her son's hand.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." Adam smiled to himself. His mom had finally accepted him for who he was.

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THANK YOU FOR READING! Here's the dealio:

I don't want to be a bitch and not update, so I've worked out a little plannie plan thing. I know I update my other stories more often than this one, and even those aren't updated very often. So I'm going to merge this story into "Reach Out" this 'series' is before reach out, and Dani comes in a week after this.

Some stuff is going to happen, and then I will come out with the sequel, "Get out" which will revolve around Adam getting the surgery, Danigore standing up against her mom, and Christina getting out of the mental hospital.

Around that time I will also write a story either parallel to "get out" or a sequel to it I'll still have to decide… But that'll introduce another OC who comes between Adam/Eli/Clare and Fitz/Bianca/Owen… it'll be cool… the reason it's parallel or a sequel is because Danigore and Christina will still be in it, it won't be completely new…

Sounds complicated I know but doing one less story at a time will be better…

Let me know what you thought of this chapter, this story, and my plan! (and please let me know if the story should be a sequel or parallel story to "get out"

Thank you so much!

xoxo,

Logan 3


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